Bondage for Beginners Guide
Here is our look into bondage for beginners from our guest blogger Raeven. Ever had an introduction to bondage? It is an experience everyone should try at least once and it’s easier to do compared to jumping out of a perfectly good plane or running naked through the city center during trick or treat.
Light bondage should be safe and fun and in no way suggests any hint of going too far or hurting someone. I mean, it’s an imaginative way to do foreplay, and foreplay means sex is about to happen. You do the math.
To make a start, all you need to do is to ignore the often misguided perceptions of most people who have probably never tried it. And there you are, you are well on your way to learning a very interesting form of foreplay and putting two fingers up in the face of the do-gooders. Double points yay!
The biggest misconception surrounding bondage is that it is assumed this is for serious sex addicts only and not for the more faint-hearted. This is completely not true and light bondage can be enjoyed by anyone. Why do people forget you can take things as slowly as you like and can stop whenever you want? Idiots.
Most people that have tried very light bondage are soon ready to step up a level to light bondage and are happy to keep it there. Think of lite mayonnaise being for the guilt conscious until you are ready to succumb to temptation, and you will, honest.
And what’s wrong with getting more out of your sex life anyhow? As long as your partner doesn’t find out! Only kidding. This is definitely something to enjoy and enhance with your partner and can help promote a deeper understanding of each other as a couple.
Bondage for Beginners the Benefits
Look at all the benefits. You don’t need to leave the house. That saves parking costs and travel time. You don’t need much equipment as you can start off with that unwanted neck scarf you got from your unhip auntie or dig out the ripped stockings that are ready for recycling.
So while you are saving the planet you can use this time productively rather than spreading out on the couch watching god awful reruns! (Now why have I just thought about Dharma and Greg??)
And sex as entertainment can also act as your weekly workout and bondage can be a great way to learn some stretching and basic yoga techniques. Think of it as Pilates but done as a pleasurable experience.
And let’s not forget sex is for fun and stimulation and should never be left to become boring. Why do you think sex toys were invented? More and more people are trying outdoor sex for some extra exhilaration, and why not? Isn’t this how we used to have sex long before we invented cooking our food and building shelters?
No, I’m not suggesting we should all rush out and get trussed up like the gimp in Pulp Fiction or go beating Raquel Welsh over the head to drag her back to our love cave, although this sounds pretty good to me. So how should one go about this?
Bondage for Beginners The Equipment or the Lack of it – The Basics
- Let’s look at what we need, or better still, here is a list of what you don’t need:
- You won’t need to own a copy of the Boy Scouts Knot Making Guide
- You don’t need to be a black belt in the Japanese Art of Shibari.
- You don’t need any special gear and that includes rope.
What? No rope! Okay so you wanna break out the pirate gear, and I ain’t asking why you got it but the main focus is starting light and using whatever you are comfortable with because that is ALL you need.
Bondage for Beginners – What you Need
This is all that’s required to hit the spot (hers or his, this is a two way deal).
- You need something to tie as a restraint for your lover.
- You need a little creativity.
- You need trust, which should be a given between long termers.
- You need a sense of adventure (okay, where’s that pirate gear?).
- You need a touch of inventiveness.
- You need to want to enjoy yourself.
And as you can see, these aren’t exactly a reason to take out a membership at house of porn dot com.
Far from it. Any form of bondage that is not as heavy as SM should be good clean fun for both partners which only requires a trusting relationship. The only thing you do need is to set some simple boundary rules and this includes a safety word for quitting which must be adhered to.
Bondage for Beginners – The safe word
This can be something as complex as thinking up a coded word such as, well ‘no’ might fit the bill nicely, d’ya think? You don’t have to be too clever about things. However I recommend a good safe word that you wouldn’t normally use such as “elephant” might be better. As using the word “no” can actually can mean yes in roleplay. The quicker you set yourselves up with your expectations and get on with it, the more you can experiment and test your boundaries are safe enough and let the fun commence.
If you’re trying out bondage for beginners and as a novice, but getting into sharing with new like-minded partners then setting your no or safe word is an absolute must. If you ever, ever do not respect this concept, then news that you are over the top may get around and you’re rightfully out the game and deserving of a good ass-kicking. I mean, who wants to trust the not trustable right?
Bondage for Beginners – It is a mutual thing
Also, it is a bad idea to get into saying you want to try bondage but don’t want to be the one getting tied up. I mean, come on, what’s that all about? The whole point of bondage is that it is a bit of extra fun based on trust and the feeling is totally mutual.
Starting your bondage career by thinking you are just the dominant part of the deal quite frankly is bullshit and you don’t deserve to ask someone just to be your play subject.
Face it, it’s too weird and sounds like you just wanna be a pervert which is a whole new ball game and not part of this discussion, at any rate.
It is far better to get things discussed and agreed up front with your partner or ‘co-bondee’ and get everything out in the open, pun fully intended.
Bondage for Beginners – The Shopping list
A good idea is to make a shopping list of things to have handy for your session. Before your weirdness worry chip kicks in, I mean sexy food for instance. What’s wrong with getting slightly spanked while hand fed wild cherries?
Mystery fruit is both provocative and sensual so if blindfolds are on the agenda then here’s a thinking man’s/woman’s/bondee’s suggested wish list.
- Chocolate syrup
- Caramel or sticky and sweet syrup
- Whipped cream
- Massage oil
Of course, you’re not making fruit salad here but the sweet and stickiness of forbidden fruits and such like should all add to the fun. And agreeing such a shopping list all adds to the boundary factor of what’s acceptably on the cards.
The exotic fruit guessing game is a perfect way to play trick or treat, especially when your ‘item’ is trussed up like a thanksgiving turkey. A bit of risk or reward should heighten the senses and add to the sensual spice so use all desert goodies to full effect.
Bondage for Beginners – Tie and Dye
So let’s take this to the next level and assume you’ve completed your fruity apprenticeship and want a bit more tying up possibilities. Assuming you don’t cohabitate the gimps web then you may need to find some handy fittings to do your tying.
Without trying to spoil the mood, I respectfully suggest fitting four kitchen door handles to the frame of your bed. It is a practical way of offering secure tie up points without going all out and buying some kick ass SM dungeon frames which is going to scare the shit out of the most willing of would-be’s.
You don’t need to buy lots of expensive sex toys either. If you’re just starting out and don’t want a bedroom looking like Dungeons and Dragons meets Playboy Mansion then simply improvise with, well, simple things. If you squeeze for the night is comfortably tied up and blindfolded and the chocolate drizzled grapes have done the trick then a pre-frozen metal kitchen utensil will do wonders lightly caressed across inner thighs.
Bondage for Beginners – You can use everyday household items
This is where you can be creative as well as being thrifty, especially if you’re new. It is reasonably well known that a pastry brush used sensitively does just as well as an expensive feather laced whip from a trendy sex boutique. So splash out on a two dollar silicon pastry brush and tickle your way to your new found, inexpensive pleasure dome. If that tickles the fancy then it won’t cost a king’s ransom to buy a spare curtain tassle. This has the extra weight and texture compared to a soft brush so the flicking and teasing can be taken to a new level, with no drawbacks!
You will find many household things can provide ample entertainment in the right hands. As you can see. It comes down do how you want to apply your goodies and how much the recipient likes it. Apart from that then the world is your oyster, ooooh, oyster shells, nice.
Bondage for Beginners – The Clean up
You can even think ahead for all that mess your enjoying making. Keeping some warm water and dripping cloth can be easily used to mop up and stiffen up many a perfect moment so keep whatever you want to hand and clean and repeat the pleasure. Otherwise you can always shower together later or let rubber ducky do the overtime shift amongst the bubble bath.
The only thing to stop you is your imagination so make the most of your fun time. Why not prepare your own trolley chock full of goodies once the blindfold is safely on. The will get a kick out of trying to hear what’s coming and then enjoy the sensual feel of what has come next.
Watch out for the follow up article on light bondage…it’s sure to give you a smack!
Bondage for Beginners – Recommended Bondage Gear.
If you wish to splurge a little and have something in your budget, there are some great products that can add to your bondage selection. Ranging from bondage kits, to restraints, gags and more.
See our bondage kit range
Fetish Fantasy Bed Bindings Restraint Kit
This is a great kit for bondage for beginners and those of who enjoy some restraint.
With the Fetish Fantasy Bed bindings restraint kit you are able to quickly and easily Transform your bed into a bondage playground. You do not need any headboard or any bed posts for this under-the-mattress bed restraints kit. Now you are able to enjoy sexy bedroom bondage anytime and anywhere as long as you have a mattress. The kit includes 4 tethers, with 2 satin ankle cuffs and 2 wrist cuffs, plus you will also receive a free mask.
Experience the thrill of role-playing – with you in control or at the mercy of your lover.
All of the restraints interconnect usingheavy duty metal-clips and high-strength O-rings to ensure security.
Restraint Kit includes:
- 4 adjustable tethers (adjustable up to 50 inches in length)
- 1 attached central tether (adjustable up to 52 inches in length)
- 4 adjustable satin-lined cuffs for wrist and ankles (adjustable between 7 inches and 15 inches in circumference)
- Soft black mask
How it feels
- Fastening: Velcro
- Material: Neoprene
If you want to avoid the mess while enjoy some slippery fruit and oil fun, the
Sexy Shiny Vinyl Flat King Size Sheet
Is a great addition to your selection of products ideal for bondage for beginners.
Make a massive mess without ruining your sheets! Spread this super-sized superior quality sheet over your bed (or over the floor!) and lube up for a super-fun super-slippery time. Wheeeeeee!
Kingsize 200cm x 230cm (6′ 6″ x 7′ 5″)
Please notice: It is strongly advised that you should not machine wash these sheets. In order to clean, either wipe down with a mild disinfectant and warm water or hand wash.
Bondage for Beginners – Some more great gear.
Here is just a few items that might take your fancy in our Handcuff and Restraints section.
Bondage for Beginners
Bondage for Beginners Guide Here is our look into bondage for beginners from our guest blogger Raeven.